Tuesdays Are Rough.

The title of this post is misleading. It's actually Monday night, not Tuesday. But with 3 hours left to go before today turns into tomorrow, I'm already starting to feel a little slump. Like I've got weight on my shoulders and it's dragging me down. This happened to me last week too. I was sitting at work last Tuesday feeling really upset all day. And I know why. I'm missing something. Something that usually keeps me going and brings a smile to my face regularly. Something I don't think I ever fully appreciated when it was right here, around me. I'm missing a part of me that's fun and goofy and carefree. I'm definitely missing something. Or should I say...someone. 

Fridays he's here. And everything in my world is right. Saturday and Sunday, I get by, because I'm at home and it's the weekend and my family keeps me busy. Mondays start to drag, because I'm busy, and I'm getting tired. And Tuesdays...Tuesdays are the worst. Because that's really when I start to feel an emptiness. Like I'm slaving away with no purpose. Because really, what's the point of all this work and all these meetings if I don't get to see him at the end of the day? 

Wednesdays are better, because I can sleep in a bit and eat lunch with my brother and cousin. That helps takes my mind off things. And of course Thursdays take forever, but I get by because I'm excited. I know he's coming soon and that's what keeps me going. 

And then the cycle starts again.

It's only the second week and I'm thinking to myself...Is this what the next two, maybe three years are going to be like? The rational part of my mind keeps telling me to snap out of it. You're a strong woman, Dirt, you'll weather through this. You'll get used to it for the time being and before you know it, everything will be back to normal. 

But there's a small emotional part of me too. And it's whispering in the back of my mind, "Home is where the heart is, Dirt. And if your heart isn't here, what are you still doing here? Does anything else really matter?"

##Dirt##