Because I'm already up anyway and I'm just that good at wasting time.

Start time: 5:00 am


It is Dead Week.  The week before finals.  The week of living at the library and going through an entire bag of hot Cheetos and Original Nacho Doritos in one day.  


It is also the week when people lose their minds.  Unofficially, of course
.
And if you're me, it is the one week when you can't bring yourself to do ANYTHING.


I came back from class at 12:30, intending to sleep for half an hour and then get to work.  Obviously, that never works out, and when I woke up, it was 4:44 in the evening.  Naturally, I panicked, realizing I'd wasted the entire afternoon, and immediately got to work  checked my Facebook.  Okay, THEN I immediately got to work.  I was super pumped, plugged in my headphones (which render me completely deaf even on low volume because they're completely AWESOME), turned on my reading playlist on Grooveshark and started to catch up on my genetics reading.


I didn't even finish one chapter.


But because my legs were cramping, I decided to take a break and join Swift.  Big mistake.  You know those shows on channels like Bravo and TLC that you'd never think anyone watches, like The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Sixteen and Pregnant and How To Make Nose Hair Look Sexy?  Turns out people DO watch them.


Bored college students like us who can't motivate themselves to work and need some good quality time to rot their brains with shitty TV.  I literally sat there and watched The Real Housewives of Atlanta for I don't know how long, enduring (and secretly enthralled by) the bad singers, the juicy divorces and the sheer amount of silicone present when all six of those women were together.  Finally, around 8:00 (okay, fine, 9:30), I started feeling the urgency and the need to get work done and felt super guilty about the fact that I was being a lazy fatass.


That doesn't mean I did anything to change it.  


Instead, due to the fact that I had a gigantic tension headache(possibly because of my grueling day and how much work I was doing) and Auntie Flo had decided to drop in with a particular vengeance this time around, I was incapacitated.  Although, to my credit, I was trying to do work.  In the end, I ended up giving up, doping myself up on Excedrin and aspirin, curling up on the couch, occasionally singing stupid songs and watching Top Chef (I swear, fucking Bravo TV is going to ruin my life).  


Fate smiled on me and pulled me out of the mire of unproductivity around midnight when the Excedrin finally 
kicked in.  This, combined with coffee, Korn and Metallica, got me working pretty steadily.
Until about 4:30.  This sacred time found me super hyper and giggling like a maniac at almost everything, along with Swift, particularly about Pablo Neruda's poem Ode To A Large Tuna In The Market.


Now the giggling has subsided, and I'm finally just tired.  And now I only have two more chapters to finish reading (as opposed to the six I had before).  I think I can finally call it a night.


I'm sleeping as the sun rises.  And now I will dream about transposable elements in E. coli genomes, DNA repair machinery in eukaryotes, LINEs and Drosophila melanogaster(fruit flies).  


My life rocks.  


Really.

You know you're jealous.

End Time: 5:43 am.

~*Heat*~

i thought i ___ him/ winter just wasn't my season

we always have the best times when there's something more important to be done and we are patently ignoring it. let me rephrase, i guess i mean I have something more important to do (damn you finals....). But i'm remembering a time just like this one where four crazy ladies decided to start a blog as yet another tool to procrastinate. we said we'd write our thoughts and our experiences, our hopes and our fears and then we'd be able to go back and look and remember. 


tonight was one of those random nights that we should remember so im documenting this. it's in the internets guys, it's never going to be erased. 


coming out of my room and singing a single line from 2 am and then you guys actually GOING ALONG WITH IT was the best. i always want to remember it as one of the high points of our roomie relationship :) 


also explaining poetry to people that don't like it/don't want to like it is frustrating. and pablo neruda has a poem entitled "an ode to a trout in the market place". it's a legit poem too. 


wtf pablo. wtf. 


also- dirt. 


for you:
www.buzzfeed.com/ashleybaccam/the-best-harry-potter-pick-up-lines








SWIFT
<3 for ee cummings and pepper banana chips

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

love you fishpoo :) even if you are a hipster that has no taste in poetry

Another Rainy Monday Morning

Monday morning. It's raining. I have no umbrella. No raincoat. 4 classes.


Joy.


Not really. It actually is a very damp situation. (HA! get it?!) But here I am taking refuge in the wonder CoM, the heavenly College of Management. My hair is frazzled from this morning's downpour, I've been up since 6:30, with nothing in my stomach but a small cup of blueberry yogurt and the world's greatest grande hot chocolate. The good news is that I have my laptop to keep me company, but all in all it has not been the most eventful of mornings. The skies are as grey as the carpet and walls of this building and, although I have already sat through three classes, I still have one more class to endure. And this one will be the longest. Don't have my buzzcard, so I can't even purchase some unhealthy munchies to distract me on this wet morn.


And yet, this gloomy weather has not completely dampened my spirits. If I search a little deeper into myself, I realize, I'm actually feeling quite chipper on this fine day. I don't feel sleepy, don't care too much for hunger, feel kinda cozy and all in all, feel quite happy. Why? 


Well this is a just question. 


Two things keep me going. Rainboots and anticipation. The rainboots are self-explanatory. The world is a better place because of rainboots. They make the wettest of days feel a little drier. They allow me to walk on water, cross puddles with no pain, and even splash into marshy sidewalks with a bit of childish glee.


And then there's the anticipation. This week is going to be awesome. I can feel it. It's just one of those magical occasions...know what I mean?


 rain rain go away
come again another day
if you don't,
it's okay,
i'll be happy anyway
;)


##Dirt##

Creepy-crawlies.

Halloween is almost here!

Do you know what that means?

1) Halloween party Friday
2) Candy, candy and more candy!

3) Those black and white old scary movie specials on TCM that play super legit old horror movies, like The Haunting.  I swear, black and white scary movies are the BEST.  They're SO much scarier than color movies.

4) That time of year when the air starts getting really crisp and the sky is so blue it looks like it's been freshly washed and hung out to dry.

5) Once again.  CANDY!

6) Dressing up and getting super creative with costumes.  Contrary to Mean Girls, Halloween is NOT just an occasion to run around in lingerie and pretend you're an animal ("I'm a MOUSE.  Duh.")  I love really exotic costumes that aren't TOO skanky =P  I've always been enamored with Cleopatra, medieval princesses and (now) genies.  As it turns out, dressing up as a genie is fairly easy, and it's pretty hot as well.  Just saying.

7) For me, fall's not officially here until it's Halloween.  There's a good part to every season, and I love scarves and crunchy leaves and cuddling under blankets and drinking hot chocolate and watching rain pelt at the windows while you're snug in your bed.
8) When Halloween is over, particularly crazy department stores will start breaking out the wreaths and the Santas and the elves and the holiday sales.  Which, in my opinion, is absolutely ridiculous.  Christmas isn't until  a little less than 2 months away.  But that doesn't mean I don't love it =D


~*Heat*~

(dreaming, et cetera, of Your smile eyes knees and of your Etcetera)

i like my body when it is with your body.  It is so quite new a thing. Muscles better and nerves more. i like your body.  i like what it does, i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling -firm-smooth ness and which i will again and again and again kiss,  i like kissing this and that of you, i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes over parting flesh… And eyes big love-crumbs, and possibly i like the thrill of under me you so quite new this is my favorite poem. it sounds like sex and newness and velvet to me even if it doesn't actually make any sense. the fact that i know exactly what he's saying even though his words aren't logical is what makes it genius. oh ee cummings, how do you do it? i wish i could write like this. gosh. so fucking brilliant.like beyond brilliant.  if you weren't so gay i would write love poems to you. but instead im just going to laugh at how inappropriate your last name is.  <3 swift love love love for puzzling punctuation and thunder river (thank you fishpoo for making me obsessed with this song)

Cockatoo-Head Feathers Up-Defensive

Alright. So personality-schmersonality, it definitely varies from person to person, and different people perceive different people differently and it's all a jumble of attitudes, perceptions, and all that other fancy schmancy stuff that my OB teacher is trying so desperately to explain to each other. Usually I can stay quiet about how people judge me because, well, let's be honest, I, like everyone else, am different around different people. I'm quiet around super talkative people, because I tend to be forced to listen, and I'm super talkative around quiet people, because, well...I can be. It varies from person to person. But why oh why is it that just because I can trust some people to see me at my worst, do they feel like they have the right to label me as a messy person?
YES. I'm getting defensive, but it's because I get this from people all the time. And it's usually the people I'm closest to, who I let into my room when even I wouldn't step into my room. I'm not a messy person. I go crazy in messes. I'm a neat freak, who's organized, and likes to have a place for everything. I can't focus in a mess. Why then, are there moments, when my room is absolutely out of control? There are TWO moments in time, when my room looks a mess: When I am SUPER busy (with finals, packing/unpacking, recruitment, etc) and right after I have completed an artsy/crafty project. That's IT. Think about it. That is it. And WHAT do I do the SECOND those moments are over? I clean. WHY? Because I really, honestly can't live in a mess. Now what's my mistake? I let people who I think won't judge me into my rooms when they're messy. I barely go into my room at those times, but I for some reason let them get a glance at it. And what do they do? They judge me! And you know what the ridiculous thing is? They NEVER walk into my room when it's clean. Or if they do, they just choose to ignore it, or say "well you just cleaned it." Really guys? REALLY?
I own a lot of stuff. I know. I love it. It makes me feel like I actually LIVE in my room or my house. It makes me feel comfy, cozy, at home. Sue me. Just because a room doesn't look empty all the time, doesn't mean it's messy. My room is always full of stuff, but yes, it's clean. 
I walked into my house this weekend, after being officially labeled as messy the prior week, and I found my room clean. Just as I'd left it. And what does my mom say? Make sure you don't make a mess out of your room! ...three days later. OMG it still looks exactly the same. WHY? I don't make a mess of it. I make a point to clean it regularly and stay sanitary because, honestly, I can't concentrate in a mess. 
For the haters out there that are still having a hard time believing me, feel free to drop by anytime into my room and open your eyes to the order, not the amount of stuff I own. 


That is all.


##Dirt##

Men, get it together.

There is nothing more irritating than a guy who starts talking to you out of the blue, keeps it up for about a week and then decides you're no longer interesting enough once he discovers existence of boyfriend.  Every girl will tell you that.  It wouldn't hurt to be a little classy sometimes.  

~*Heat*~ 

Old Movies That EVERYONE Should Watch Once.

Old movies don't get NEARLY enough credit as they should.  Even though people feel like they can't relate to them, they can.  It's not that hard.  Here are some of the best old movies that everyone should watch at least once.

1. The World Is Not Enough.  It's a James Bond movie.  And after watching this one, if you like it, watch all the rest of the James Bond movies.  There's a reason they have a cult following.
2. My Cousin Vinny.  It's about a New York lawyer who goes to Alabama to take his first murder case after 6 times of failing the bar, a language problem, a dress code problem and almost 6 weeks of experience practicing law.  It's HILARIOUS, and Marisa Tomei is my hero.  If you watch it, you'll see why.
3. A Few Good Men.  Stars Tom Cruise and Demi Moore.  It's a legal movie about a Marine who is killed by his fellow Marines, supposedly on the orders of a higher officer.
4. Jaws.  I really don't have to explain this one.  Even though I'm scared shitless of sharks, I sat and watched it.  And it was SO GOOD.  
5. Home Alone.  It's a kid's movie, but it's still hilarious.  I watch it every Christmas and die laughing every time.
6. Goodfellas.  Any movie with Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro together is bound to be good.  It concerns a former member of the Mafia who goes into the witness protection program after ratting out his fellow members.
7. Sholay.  Even though it's a remake of The Magnificent Seven, it might actually be BETTER than the original.  And that's saying something.  
8. The Magnificent Seven.  If you don't particularly like Westerns, you might be hard-pressed to watch this one, but at least try, mostly because it's a classic.
9. Rebecca.  This is an Alfred Hitchcock movie, so it's pretty old, but it's still really good.  It's about a middle class woman who marries a rich widower and moves into the house, only to find that the first wife still has a strange hold over everyone in the house.
10. The Pink Panther series.  Seriously.  The Steve Martin ones are NOTHING compared to the old ones.  Blake Edwards and Peter Sellers are comedic geniuses.  Granted that the humor is pretty slapstick, but if you need to wind down and if you want to watch a movie that requires no thinking, this is the way to go.   

~*Heat*~

Dear Little Heat,

I miss you, and I want to talk. And I want to reminisce a little. So take a break from dancing with Ayush and pretending to be Gurmukh's lover, because you'll have plenty of game with much taller and more idiotic men when you hit college.


If there was one thing you were famous for, it was your penchant for trying to figure out things that were none of your business. You were curious. And it always got you in trouble. Remember that time everyone thought you'd swallowed a pencil sharpener? They turned you upside down and banged you on the back and shook you until you couldn't breathe, let alone get the words to tell everyone you hadn't swallowed anything. And speaking of talking. You never shut UP. For a girl with such a small mouth, you had an extraordinary amount of words. Your mouth ran 24/7, like the Energizer Bunny. And you always talked about the most useless, most idiotic things that made absolutely no sense. But somehow, you still managed to get people to like you even though you were so irritating. Mad props yo.


You were artistic. Remember that one time you tore apart the crayon box searching for a magenta crayon, and you were completely dumbfounded when the kindergarten teacher said she didn't have that color? You may not have been a perfectionist (mostly because you could never color within the damn lines), but you paid attention to detail. I remember this one time in second grade you had to choose a poem, memorize it and recite it. You picked this poem by Shel Silverstein (which I now realize was PERFECT for your personality), something about this guy who couldn't stop sneezing and had such a bad cold that in the end, he had to go get a circus tent and use it as a handkerchief. You couldn't stop laughing when you read the poem, and when you had to recite it, I remember how dramatic you were (you always were a drama queen) and how much expression you put into it. And I remember how loud you yelled when you had to pretend to sneeze. As a side note, my sneezes are still just as magnificent and loud as your sneezes were. I remember how your eyes danced when you recited it, how excited you were. You loved reading and learning. You always did.


You were always emotional. Everything you felt, you felt so strongly. I remember you had this clown doll that would sing Fur Elise when it was wound up, and every time you heard the song, you'd tear up a little. Even then, without having any idea of what the song was about. And I also remember how you cried when Mom told you the story of Frankenstein's monster and how he was such a social outcast. All the other kids in your class were scared of the idea of a monster, but you weren't scared; you just felt bad for him. Your emotions were strange. Even if you couldn't take care of yourself, you still took care of other kids if they were being picked on. Or at least you tried. You were naive, and you got your wakeup call in the worst way.


I don't know if you're gone. I see you in me sometimes. Your imagination, your creativity, your penchant for talking a lot and putting your foot in your mouth. That's all still there, but your optimism? Your tolerance? Sometimes I feel as if cynicism and scorn kind of suffocated you and left you to fend for yourself. Did you leave? Did you survive? I feel like the answer keeps varying and at the worst, most of you is gone from me. But I also know that whatever I have left of you will never leave me. Or at least, I hope it won't.


Thank you for the memories, Little Heat. Thank you for charming people and winning them over all those years, because I sure as hell can't do it now. Thank you for never letting the word "Why?" escape my vocabulary. Thank you for being imaginative and giving me a world (several worlds, actually) that I can enter when things go really wrong. Thank you for infusing me with passion and enthusiasm for damn near everything. As for you, little one, I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did.


With all my love,
~*Heat*~

Lay Me Down

Soundtrack for this post 

It’s been about three months since I last updated and I’m right where I left off. I’m back at some late hour of the night foregoing studying for my finals and instead I’ve

a)      Been a wake up call

b)      Changed my facebook profile picture (JELLYFISH)

c)       Found every remix to that one Punjabi MC song

d)      Chipped all of my nail polish off

e)      Gone on a walk

f)       Taken a nap in the library

 I’m actually being yelled at right now to finish studying and blog tomorrow, but you see, that would be the SMART thing to do and, as we all know, I’m not the smartest out of all of us. J

Everyone seems to have had really awesome summers but I, no doubt, had one of the worst summers of my life (ok heat before you argue you went out of the country and saw family while I was stuck here slaving away with no one but my hunchback boyfriend to keep me company). I, however, am not going to dwell on that. I’m going to tell you all what next semester is going to be like.

Picture this:

*cue music*

It’s Move-In Day and we’re all bringing our carefully collected furniture, decorations, bedding and most importantly FOOD, up the stairs and into our new apartment. Everything is set up and then 

THE PARTY BEGINS.

The champagne is flowing, disco balls appear out of nowhere, backup dancers appear, everything goes Technicolor and we’re now starting the 

BEST YEAR OF OUR LIVES.

something like this:

Internships and jobs and A’s magically seem to be coming to us. We’re in our own rooms and now able to walk around in states of semi nudity without fear of scarring anyone. Boyfriends are sleeping over and roof hopping is now a sport. Our bathroom lives do not have to be compressed in a small plastic bag that may or may not have become moldy by the end of the year. Dance parties are held on the regular as are movie nights, outdoor picnics and cookoffs. There are never dishes in the sink (thanks liquid) but there always food in the fridge. 

The end of the semester closes with plans for a roadtrip to California to visit a much missed friend and lots of alcohol and dancing. We all get 4.0s. 

The end. Amen. 

I’m telling you girls, the promised land is near.

Aannnnddd now I have to go fail my final. WTF IS TORQUE?  

NO.

more like 

<3 for three minute naps

swift

Working Away My Summer

Summer has been GREAT. soooooo amazing. relaxing, lazy, and simply great.


But almost 3 months have FLOWN by. Why? Because I've been working. SIGH. The toils and troubles of a teenage worker. No really, I have been working two internships, neither of which are paid and I've just been so busy the past few weeks that when I look back, the only thing I can say is WHERE did this AMAZING summer of mine go? Apart from the fact that my summer lasted about as long as the blink of an eye, it has caught my attention how much I think I've grown this summer. 
Two internships means working for two sets of bosses, which means twice the deadlines, twice the demands, and twice the experience. At the beginning of the summer, I remember being a little bit overwhelmed with tasks that I had to have completed. I remember asking my bosses LOTS of questions and moments when I felt like I really wasn't qualified for this job. But over the weeks, I think they've molded me into this more professional, more confident young women, that's even more comfortable with talking, asking questions, and handling assignments. Even though I haven't been in school this whole time, I feel like I've learned SO much more this summer and working those longggg 9-5 hours has aged me, matured me. All of a sudden, I realize that working is no joke. It's hard work. Much harder than school. So much so that I'm almost looking forward to going back to tests and quizzes because they just seem so much simpler at this point. I realize how tired my parents get at the end of a work day and I understand what they mean when they say work doesn't just end when you get home...it never ends...it's literally a full time job. The way I hold myself is more professional, I think. I stand up straighter, have changed my wardrobe, pay attention to my appearance, and have perfected the way I talk to other people. It's been a great experience, although an exhausting one, and I feel like I'm really coming out a much different person from how I went in.


I went out to eat lunch with my elements the other day and I was shocked to find how much we'd all matured. Two of us were coming from work, and one was coming from class. We were all dressed to impress and the waiter kept throwing charming grins at us, making us feel like those housewives on those stupid tv shows. And our conversations...ohhh we had a good laugh at the conversations. They started the way I expected a conversation my Mom would have with her girlfriends would start. "So? How's work? How are classes? Good? Good. How's the Boyfriend?  Aw great! And the family? Oh of course. But what would family be if it wasn't crazy? Stressed? Don't worry, it'll be over soon! Oh yes, we do need to plan out the groceries. And yeah! I think that color will look GREAT in the bathroom!"


Seriously. It was ridiculous.


...but KINDA cool!


It's been a fun ride being all mature and grown-up for one summer. Like a teaser trailer for what's about to come. But it's also made me realize that, although the movie looks like it's gonna be great, it's one movie that I can wait a little while before I wanna watch it...I'm in no hurry. For the time being, I'm actually looking forward to going back to the comfort of classrooms, and homework.


##Dirt## 

Way to ruin the Andy Griffith song for me, Drake. I'll thank you later.

I'm somewhat confused.  Hip-hop and rap music is somehow simultaneously raunchy, seductive and tender and the same time.  I don't get it.  It makes you sort of afraid when someone says songs like that remind him of you, because you don't know exactly why you're on his mind.  Take Best I Ever Had, for example.  How does Drake go from "Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on, that's when you're the prettiest" to "You be up on everything, other hoes ain't never on it" to "You don't even have to ask twice, you can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice"?  It's such an even mix of superficial horniness and love (if that's what it even is) that it leaves me a little befuddled.  It's a fairly blunt song, and it's direct and to the point.  No flowery language, no particularly beautiful lyrics, no Scarlet Letter references that make no sense.  What do you do at the end of a song like that?  Do you go, "Awwwwwwww" or do you feel somewhat violated?  What are you supposed to do, cut out the parts that don't apply to you and feel all cute and mushy at the rest?  After listening to the song four times in a row, I had to question it.  Why does this song appeal to me romantically?  I mean, as far as I could see, I couldn't tell whether Drake tries to equate sex with love or whether he's talking about an even mix of the two (although sometimes it sounds more like the former).  And consequently, if I were the girl he'd written the song for, I wouldn't know whether to be offended or flattered.


Example #2: My Chick Bad.  Ludacris wins the award for Most Completely Misogynistic Yet Strangely Flattering Lyrics.  The first time I heard that song, I wanted to punch Luda in the face.  The lyrics are crude ("Chick so bad the whole crew wanna bone her") and plain disgusting sometimes ("I fill her up, balloons!"), and pay attention, boyfriend: when we're alone, I'm not sliding down the pole like a certified stripper, and ESPECIALLY not if you tip me.  So why is this song romantically appealing to me?  There's nothing remotely sweet about it, and there's no affection either.  I mean, can it even be considered a romantic song?  Not really.  But after a while, I realized that the girl in the song might be a hoe, but she's also a baller.  And that when someone says this song reminds him of you, it's actually quite flattering.  I am a hell of a woman.  I might not be a hoe, but I'm street smart and I can take care of myself.  I can sure as hell knock a bitch out.  If you test me, guns will sure as hell get drawn like cartoons (in a metaphorical sense.  I don't have a weapons license.  Yet.)  And if you piss me off, you better believe I come out swinging like Tiger Woods' wife.  Even if she's not the most sweet, feminine and delicate girl ever seen, she's independent, tough and can give any guy a run for his money.  She's not the kind of girl you take lightly.  And even if she's a little extreme, at the end of the day, isn't that what you want him to think of you?


In a sense, I think the emotions expressed in the above songs are so much more real and believable than those contemporary anthems of romantics all over the world.  Forever?  Today Was A Fairytale?  Bleeding Love?  Overly mushy, locked away in an ivory tower, and just plain WHINY.  All these songs are the product of a minstrel who accompanies a knight who sweeps the curly blonde-haired damsel off her feet and rides off on a white horse into the sunset.  And they flutter just in front of you with gossamer wings built of perfection and idealism, but never within reach.  The way I see it, everything has to be flavored with a bit of cynicism and a hint of reality.  Even songs about relationships.  Because if they're not, how will you ever relate to them?  At the end of the day, I don't want a cheesefest of affection so sweet that it makes me vomit a little.  I don't want to be compared to Romeo and Juliet.  And I don't want anyone to grab my hand and "take me there" as if I'm some kind of five year-old (Honestly, Chris Brown, what is that even supposed to MEAN?)  I want something real.  I want something believable.  I want imperfection, with plenty of flaws.  Which is why even though hip-hop confuses me and inspires plenty of WTF moments, in its own way, it's perfect.


~*Heat*~

Direct from the motherland.

Being in a foreign country, away from all your friends, even if it's your motherland, teaches you things.

1) Never fail to appreciate the beauty of perfect grammar and spelling.  After two months of seeing store windows and signs boldly emblazoned with the words "jewellery", "butterscock" and "threding", you tend to go a little crazy and forget your own English.

2) Never underestimate the power of deodorant.  The lack thereof, especially when you're in a large crowd, really stinks.  Literally and figuratively.

3) Family is not a right, it's a privilege.  Same goes for friendship.  If it's a one-way street and the other person gives back nothing, or if the other person doesn't respect the commitment or the relationship, you don't need that other person.  Doesn't matter if you're related by blood.  If this is the case, then they CERTAINLY have no right to treat you that way.

4) At the risk of sounding like Dear Abby, relationships are all about communication.  If that's missing, it blows. 

Maybe if Dear Abby wrote like that, more people would read her column.

5) If you're earning in dollars, a lot of stuff is gloriously cheap here.  I got my eyebrows done for a grand total of 20 cents.  I think the expenses would catch up to you if you were living here permanently, but if you're just visiting, it's kind of nice.

6) When you're here, you start craving stuff that you take for granted there.  Three months of living without Taco Bell is awful.  I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  It's on my list of things to eat when I get back.

7) No matter how young you are and how much of life you still think you have left to live, the clock is ticking.  Entropy is slowly coming to get you.  You are degenerating as you read this.  And if you take your time for granted and stop listening to that clock, you're in trouble.  Because you will undoubtedly realize what you've been missing before you die, you will regret what you haven't done, and there won't be a damn thing you can do about it.

8) There is unquestionably such a thing as fate.  No matter how hard you try to avert things, if they're really meant to happen, they'll come back to you in the end.

9) The horror genre slowly degenerated after the 1940s.  Indian horror movies today are either extremely formulaic- girl gets possessed, family freaks out, religion vs. science- or they're straight-up adult movies.  Unattractive either way.

10) When you can't make your mom jokes or bakawk or say stupid things without attracting strange looks, you tend to really, really, REALLY miss your friends.  And when you can't see them for such a long time, every small thing starts to remind you of them.

~*Heat*~

The Feeling is Strange

The feeling is strange. There is a bit of emptiness...but a whole lot of familiarity.

It was a day just like this...only 10---gosh...was it really 10 months ago? The sun was shining then, just as it's shining today. The roads were packed with cars--people rushing in and out with various loads of furniture. Moving day.

There was an excitement then...as there is today. But there was also a small sliver of fear of what we were leaving behind. For a little while the excitement took over and conquered the fear. Then slowly, as time wore on...the excitement too faded away. The excitement has been creeping back slowly all morning....but so is the other feeling. Fear--of what we may be leaving behind. The fear is not a major part of it...but mingled with a hint of sadness, it's most definitely there.

When I walked out of my last exam of Freshman Year this morning...I had only two words in mind. The first was "done." and the second was "bed." A two hour nap and a hearty meal later, I dazedly walked out of the dining hall thinking..."well that's it then."

The sun is shining just as it was that day. There is a similar hustle bustle around campus. But this time, instead of moving in...i'm moving out.

There's one question on all of our lips--"Where did Freshman Year go?" Yesterday, I spent countless hours stressing over trivial things such as my SAT, which schools I was going to apply to, which friends I wouldn't be able to see everyday...and here I am...one year--gone?

I'm in the midst of clearing out my room. My roommate's side of the room is already bare, all traces of her ever being there erased. I'm pulling apart my suitcase, packing everything I once spent so long unpacking. Undoing everything I had done to make this dingy room into a habitable space. Just 10--gosh...was it really 10 months ago?

Looking around, I think of how many memories this room has seen. Why just in the short time I have been here, I can think of countless moments--

Remember how our door was decorated for half the semester? Remember the events that led up that door being decorated? Garba? The Birthday? How many times did we sing "Waha Waha Ram Ji" within these walls? How many times were we told we needed to keep it down? And what about that random day SO close to the end of the year when we FINALLY realized we didn't HAVE to go back to our rooms at 3 in the morning--we were allowed to have sleepovers at midnight! A guy asked a girl to be his girlfriend in my room. How many times did my eyehole get stolen? Remember that time we played 90s Hindi music for HOURS?! That time we first decided to move our beds around? That time our two AMAZING high school friends came over and spend the night here? Oh the study sessions that turned into long talks...And oh my goodness...remember that day when we stayed up most of the night because we thought it would snow the next day...and it didn't? 

I could go on forever...but I've made my point. This room has so many memories for me that I could have never imagined I'd make. It's been fun. We laughed here, at each other, at ourselves, at our idiocies. We've cried here...many times...when life just wasn't going our way. We lost our tempers here--and then we found them...right here. And lastly, it was here that I made some very special friendships.

Important things that happened this year right outside of 206?

A man got stabbed by a samurai sword. My dorm building caught fire. The building right next to us flooded. There was bomb threat in the building across from the College of Management. I bidded on my friend and won her--twice. A health care reform bill got passed. Six Flags Over Georgia became Six Flags Under Water. We had the coldest winter I've ever seen in my decade and a half of living in Georgia. I got my nose pierced. Construction on the CULC hit full swing...as did the construction on a new Waffle House, Subway, Taco Bell, and Chik-fil-A right here on campus. Kanye West was a jerk to Taylor Swift. Justin Bieber became a sensation. Jay Sean happened. And oh yeah. We went to the Orange Bowl.

I'm not sad. Not really. I know next year is going to be even better. But that fear...what are we leaving behind? What if the next three years go by just as fast...because I know they will? 

The fear is small...insignificant. But amidst this excitement, mingled with a hint of sadness, it's most definitely there.

Thanks to everyone who made this year so special. Really.

##Dirt##

Here's a list of the most useless subjects ever.

The ones you will never, ever use.

Survey of Calculus

Inorganic Chemistry

Environmental Science

Accounting

All of them can go to hell.  They are useless subjects.  We can do so much better.

Plus, they look like ugly horses.  That is all.

Back to Born-Haber cycles.

With love,

~*Heat*~

All I Do Is Win

fuck finals.this is what i want to do to them. trust lil wayne to be the only one to be able to express exactly how many times i wanna rape everything right now.

im done with one (did pretty well i hope, cross my fingers) and now im on to the next one

but in all seriousness, all this finals stress has made me realize something. this is what i was made to do. stay up till ridiculous times the night, studying a subject that i care about. i love that feeling of things finally making sense. i feel alive right now, i can feel every single cell in my body and everything is telling me that im doing exactly what im supposed to do. this feels right. it may be the massive amounts of caffeine running through me making me crazy, but i don't care. I want to feel like this always. 

Ive been in weird moods the past couple of days. A significant milestone is almost crossed and I know some things will never be the same. Leaving FC makes me want to cry just because I know it's not going to be as magical anymore.That feeling of infinite tenderness, potential, love, friendship, reckless daring. I'm not going to feel like a badass motherfucker as often. I'm not going to be able to fuck the world and LIVELIVELIVE without these people. I love you for what you make me feel FC, i love you, I can't live without it, and seriously, a little bit of me is gone because we aren't together anymore. And even though we'll all see each other and be bffs, it will be because of our efforts not because we were thrown together and collided and reacted like exploding stars. I'll miss Field and I'll miss certain people that I know I won't see as much anymore. Chelsea, I'm talking about you. I don't want to leave the security of being a freshman and being able to make freshman mistakes. Everything was forgivable up till now, and as I get older, the security net gets thinner and thinner. Nothing feels wholesome anymore.

Shit's weird homie. Shit's megaweird. But certain people make it better  

and amazing :)

I love all of you. I never want to lose you. You three complete me. you know why? BECAUSE ALL WE DO IS WIN  MOTHAFUCKAS.

<3 for being retarded

swift.