(dreaming, et cetera, of Your smile eyes knees and of your Etcetera)

i like my body when it is with your body.  It is so quite new a thing. Muscles better and nerves more. i like your body.  i like what it does, i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling -firm-smooth ness and which i will again and again and again kiss,  i like kissing this and that of you, i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes over parting flesh… And eyes big love-crumbs, and possibly i like the thrill of under me you so quite new this is my favorite poem. it sounds like sex and newness and velvet to me even if it doesn't actually make any sense. the fact that i know exactly what he's saying even though his words aren't logical is what makes it genius. oh ee cummings, how do you do it? i wish i could write like this. gosh. so fucking brilliant.like beyond brilliant.  if you weren't so gay i would write love poems to you. but instead im just going to laugh at how inappropriate your last name is.  <3 swift love love love for puzzling punctuation and thunder river (thank you fishpoo for making me obsessed with this song)

Cockatoo-Head Feathers Up-Defensive

Alright. So personality-schmersonality, it definitely varies from person to person, and different people perceive different people differently and it's all a jumble of attitudes, perceptions, and all that other fancy schmancy stuff that my OB teacher is trying so desperately to explain to each other. Usually I can stay quiet about how people judge me because, well, let's be honest, I, like everyone else, am different around different people. I'm quiet around super talkative people, because I tend to be forced to listen, and I'm super talkative around quiet people, because, well...I can be. It varies from person to person. But why oh why is it that just because I can trust some people to see me at my worst, do they feel like they have the right to label me as a messy person?
YES. I'm getting defensive, but it's because I get this from people all the time. And it's usually the people I'm closest to, who I let into my room when even I wouldn't step into my room. I'm not a messy person. I go crazy in messes. I'm a neat freak, who's organized, and likes to have a place for everything. I can't focus in a mess. Why then, are there moments, when my room is absolutely out of control? There are TWO moments in time, when my room looks a mess: When I am SUPER busy (with finals, packing/unpacking, recruitment, etc) and right after I have completed an artsy/crafty project. That's IT. Think about it. That is it. And WHAT do I do the SECOND those moments are over? I clean. WHY? Because I really, honestly can't live in a mess. Now what's my mistake? I let people who I think won't judge me into my rooms when they're messy. I barely go into my room at those times, but I for some reason let them get a glance at it. And what do they do? They judge me! And you know what the ridiculous thing is? They NEVER walk into my room when it's clean. Or if they do, they just choose to ignore it, or say "well you just cleaned it." Really guys? REALLY?
I own a lot of stuff. I know. I love it. It makes me feel like I actually LIVE in my room or my house. It makes me feel comfy, cozy, at home. Sue me. Just because a room doesn't look empty all the time, doesn't mean it's messy. My room is always full of stuff, but yes, it's clean. 
I walked into my house this weekend, after being officially labeled as messy the prior week, and I found my room clean. Just as I'd left it. And what does my mom say? Make sure you don't make a mess out of your room! ...three days later. OMG it still looks exactly the same. WHY? I don't make a mess of it. I make a point to clean it regularly and stay sanitary because, honestly, I can't concentrate in a mess. 
For the haters out there that are still having a hard time believing me, feel free to drop by anytime into my room and open your eyes to the order, not the amount of stuff I own. 


That is all.


##Dirt##