The Feeling is Strange

The feeling is strange. There is a bit of emptiness...but a whole lot of familiarity.

It was a day just like this...only 10---gosh...was it really 10 months ago? The sun was shining then, just as it's shining today. The roads were packed with cars--people rushing in and out with various loads of furniture. Moving day.

There was an excitement then...as there is today. But there was also a small sliver of fear of what we were leaving behind. For a little while the excitement took over and conquered the fear. Then slowly, as time wore on...the excitement too faded away. The excitement has been creeping back slowly all morning....but so is the other feeling. Fear--of what we may be leaving behind. The fear is not a major part of it...but mingled with a hint of sadness, it's most definitely there.

When I walked out of my last exam of Freshman Year this morning...I had only two words in mind. The first was "done." and the second was "bed." A two hour nap and a hearty meal later, I dazedly walked out of the dining hall thinking..."well that's it then."

The sun is shining just as it was that day. There is a similar hustle bustle around campus. But this time, instead of moving in...i'm moving out.

There's one question on all of our lips--"Where did Freshman Year go?" Yesterday, I spent countless hours stressing over trivial things such as my SAT, which schools I was going to apply to, which friends I wouldn't be able to see everyday...and here I am...one year--gone?

I'm in the midst of clearing out my room. My roommate's side of the room is already bare, all traces of her ever being there erased. I'm pulling apart my suitcase, packing everything I once spent so long unpacking. Undoing everything I had done to make this dingy room into a habitable space. Just 10--gosh...was it really 10 months ago?

Looking around, I think of how many memories this room has seen. Why just in the short time I have been here, I can think of countless moments--

Remember how our door was decorated for half the semester? Remember the events that led up that door being decorated? Garba? The Birthday? How many times did we sing "Waha Waha Ram Ji" within these walls? How many times were we told we needed to keep it down? And what about that random day SO close to the end of the year when we FINALLY realized we didn't HAVE to go back to our rooms at 3 in the morning--we were allowed to have sleepovers at midnight! A guy asked a girl to be his girlfriend in my room. How many times did my eyehole get stolen? Remember that time we played 90s Hindi music for HOURS?! That time we first decided to move our beds around? That time our two AMAZING high school friends came over and spend the night here? Oh the study sessions that turned into long talks...And oh my goodness...remember that day when we stayed up most of the night because we thought it would snow the next day...and it didn't? 

I could go on forever...but I've made my point. This room has so many memories for me that I could have never imagined I'd make. It's been fun. We laughed here, at each other, at ourselves, at our idiocies. We've cried here...many times...when life just wasn't going our way. We lost our tempers here--and then we found them...right here. And lastly, it was here that I made some very special friendships.

Important things that happened this year right outside of 206?

A man got stabbed by a samurai sword. My dorm building caught fire. The building right next to us flooded. There was bomb threat in the building across from the College of Management. I bidded on my friend and won her--twice. A health care reform bill got passed. Six Flags Over Georgia became Six Flags Under Water. We had the coldest winter I've ever seen in my decade and a half of living in Georgia. I got my nose pierced. Construction on the CULC hit full swing...as did the construction on a new Waffle House, Subway, Taco Bell, and Chik-fil-A right here on campus. Kanye West was a jerk to Taylor Swift. Justin Bieber became a sensation. Jay Sean happened. And oh yeah. We went to the Orange Bowl.

I'm not sad. Not really. I know next year is going to be even better. But that fear...what are we leaving behind? What if the next three years go by just as fast...because I know they will? 

The fear is small...insignificant. But amidst this excitement, mingled with a hint of sadness, it's most definitely there.

Thanks to everyone who made this year so special. Really.

##Dirt##